Enlisting & the Right to Serve: Why I did it.
Over at Ed Cone’s blog there is a loooong comment thread dealing with the recent Soulforce Right to Serve Campaign events in Greensboro, North Carolina (official site, my blog site, media & blog coverage).
A couple of folks commenting over at Ed’s blog keep making an issue of whether or not I really was serious about joining the Army when I went into that recruiting center on Thursday, September 21, 2006.
The answer is, “Yes.” I was as serious as any person could be.
It took me two months to decide whether I would participate and organize for the Right to Serve Campaign. It took so long because I knew that if I did this and if the recruiters took that 0.01% chance of telling me I could serve and be honorably open and honest about myself at the same time, that I would be going into the Army. I recognized immediately how serious this issue is and I recognized immediately that this would not be an easy or light decision to make. If fate would have jumped in and said, “Let Matt serve,” I would have done it. I wouldn’t have backed down from the commitment, the responsibility or the “call to duty.”
I decided, in the end, that I love my country so, so much that, if I were able to honorably serve without lying, that I would be willing to not only defend my country but die for it as well. I’m not willing, however, to be pushed back into the “closet” by my government. I’m not willing to actively, on a daily basis, hide and cover who I am. I’m not willing to make up stories and lies about my life just so I can serve. Our Military expects our soldiers to serve honorably and to the 100% best of our ability. As I gay person I could not serve under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell knowing that, deep down inside, the life I would be living would be a complete and utter lie.
My seriousness on September 21, 2006 was not a joke and was not a lie. I was in JROTC my freshman year of high school. I had signed up for it as a naive, un-informed 8th grader. I didn’t know you couldn’t be an honest, honorable American, gay and a soldier all at the same time. I had my whole life planned out around the military, though. I would join the Army JROTC at Reynolds High School, go to a college with ROTC, work my way through training, come out of that as an Army officer and serve my country in uniform. I’m sure some of you may be calling “bullshit” on me and you can do that, but know that your calling “bullshit” doesn’t mean anything because when it comes down to it… what I’m saying here is the complete, 100% truth. Truth is all I have and truth will back me up.
I didn’t take JROTC after my freshman year at Reynolds, though. I dropped out of it because the instructor had, more than once, belittled me based on my sexual orientation and political views in front of the entire class. It was then that I first experienced the legally and socially instituted, government-sanctioned discrimination caused by Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. It was then when my 8th grade naivete disappeared. It was then when I realized that my nation’s military called me sick and perverted and unable to “do my duty to my country” (and on a parallel level to God, as I worked for freedom, equality and against evil and tyranny).
Many have said that what we did in Greensboro, NC, on Thursday, September 21st, was nothing but a “political stunt” to “push a gay agenda.” It wasn’t a political “stunt.” We were at the same time as being completely 100% serious about enlisting, also taking a stand for ourselves and our right to serve openly and honestly and no one - not me, not Soulforce and not our supporters - have hidden that fact. We have stated from the very beginning that our goals were many:
First, that openly gay youth truly committed to serving without being willing to lie in order to do it, would attempt to enlist openly and honestly. Second, that we would bring attention to the harmful effects of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Third, that we would bring awareness to the Military Readiness Enhancement Act (HR 1059), which would repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and put in place a policy of non-discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Fourth, that we would bring this issue home, to our own community and put a face to discrimination instead of numbers and statistics. Even though we were “making a point,” as some have said (which is a like a “Duh!” obvious thing to any person), our commitment and willingness to serve our country was as strong as any other person who has joined, will join or who is joining the military right now, as we speak. All we wanted was that we be allowed to serve in the exact same way as straight people while being treated as equally as straight people and while receiving our right to serve in openness, honesty, honor and integrity. That, of course, didn’t happen.
The time for change has come, whether many people realize it or not. The youth of America are fed up with a government that denies them their rights and humanity. The youth of America are fed up with a political system that has continuously failed them time and time again. We are fed up with a system that ignores us and laughs in our faces while they call us “faggots” and “sexual perversions.” We are fed up with a government that calls us “morally ineligible” to loyally and honorably serve our people, our nation and our ideals and principles simply because we are gay, lesbian or bisexual. We are fed up with being the scape-goat blamed for what the military says would cause the break-down of “unit cohesion” and “troop morale.” We are fed up with being told everyday how great America is and how our ideals of equality and freedom and justice are what make us great, knowing full well from our personal experiences and lives that equality and freedom have yet to be established for us.
Like it or not, the youth of America are moving forward. We are taking control. The older, more conservative generations can’t keep that control forever. Change will come and it is coming fast.
There are more than 65,000 lesbian and gay and bisexual servicemembers currently working - and putting their lives on the line - for you and for me and for every person in this land of supposed equality. They are fighting for the equality and justice our government continues to actively deny them - and me and every other LGBT person in this country. I attempted to enlist because I was truly committed. If the recruiters would have said “Yes” I would have gone in without any regret and with a soul so full of pride for my country no enemy could ever knock me down. I attempted to enlistebecause I think the more than 11,000 discharged, honorable soldiers - who just happened to be gay - deserve justice. I attempted to enlist because the more than 65,000 gay servicemembers currently protecting us deserve to live a life of honesty and equality.
Ultimately, I attempted to enlist because I am a young, willing and patriotic American who thinks I should be able to honorably serve my country and its ideals and principles without having to lie and live a dishonorable life day in and day out.
My seriousness in that Army recruiting office on Thursday, September 21, 2006 shouldn’t be an issue and shouldn’t even be a question. Those who bring it up as an issue and question are merely deflecting from the true issue at hand: America is not yet the “land of the free” or the bastion of equality. We are, in fact, quite the opposite, at least when it comes to equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.
If you are one who still supports Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and if you still support the government’s despicable discrimination against gay people, then all I can do is hope that my actions and efforts will one day help you to see the truth. If you never see the truth, then all I can do is continue to respect you as my fellow human being, while at the same time casting you off as a person who truly does not understand the principles upon which this nation was founded and waiting for the day when my generation is finally able to grow fully into adulthood and take this nation to a better place.
My seriousness on September 21st is something that only I can judge and for which only I can ultimately answer. Your position on how your government treats its citizens and those protecting its citizens is an issue with which you should be concerned. In the end, equality and justice will prevail. It always has and it always will. Hopefully you will be one of the many who work to see equality fulfilled for gay people. Hopefully you will be one of the many who continue the “Great Experiment.” Hopefully I will one day see our nation as a place where I can truly be a full citizen, with full rights and the full respect of my oh so dearly loved government and People.
Technorati Tags: Soulforce, Right to Serve Campaign, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Army, Greensboro, North Carolina, sit-in
Matt, 22, is an LGBT journalist, activist and youth advocate currently living and working in Charlotte, N.C., where he serves as the Editor of Q-Notes, the Carolinas' LGBT news source. A native of Winston-Salem, N.C., Matt attended the University of North Carolina at Greensboro and is still continuing to pursue his bachelors degree. He is the Owner & Editor of InterstateQ.com and has been active in LGBT advocacy work since the age of 14.
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