This week’s column: Int’l. students beware
by Matt | November 29th, 2006 |Here’s this week’s column from The Carolinian (UNCG):
Studying abroad? You’ve been warned
An international student’s experience with right-wing Christians
by Matt Hill Comer Don’t Ask (I’m Telling)
Posted: 11/28/06
Michael Gromek, a bright-eyed, dirty-blonde, 19-year-old Polish student, came to study in America not too long ago. He stayed with a host family in Winston-Salem, N.C. You would have thought that Gromek’s experience would be one of a lifetime. The Triad area is a wonderful place in which to study, work, play and live. Gromek surely wasn’t alone, either; many Triad schools, including UNCG, have large groups of international students and he surely could have found some college-aged friends around the area.
Gromek’s experience was, unfortunately, a “living hell.” He was placed with a fundamentalist, radical, right-wing Christian host family. When he met them for the first time at the airport, Gromek found out immediately what was so wrong with this family.
“Child, our Lord sent you half-way around the world to bring you to us.”
According to Gromek, that is the very first thing he heard from them. As it turns out, the family had applied to be a host family for a Polish student because they had already begun to build a Baptist church in his homeland. The family wanted him to be the one to return to Poland and finish their work.
“It was God’s will, they said. They tried to slip the topic casually into conversation, but it really shocked me - I realized that was the only reason they had welcomed me into their family,” said Gromek. “They had already started construction work in Krakow - I was to help them with translations and with spreading their faith via the media.”
Gromek politely tried to tell his host family he wasn’t interested. He politely tried attempting to respect them and have them respect him in return. They tried forcing him to go to church every Sunday and the one Sunday he refused to go, the host family refused to let him have any coffee that morning, as some sort of punishment.
After four months, Gromek requested that he be transferred to a new host family. When his right-wing Christian family found out, the behavior was far from “Christian.”
Full column at CarolinianOnline.com
3 Responses to “This week’s column: Int’l. students beware”
I’m from Greensboro and also kept a German exchange student that arrived with Michael from Poland (the boy in the article) last year (’05-’06). We also kept Michael at our home overnight so he could talk with our student. My family was also at the airport and greeted them both when they arrived. Although our families separated to greet and take home our student, I can’t say that I noticed Michael’s host parents holding a bible at that time but I believe Michael is exaggerating quite a bit. BTW, his career ambition is to go into journalism. He babbled non-stop at our home one night until we all were nodding off. His hosts were Christian and faithful. I did not judge them on this, but we all knew he should have departed much sooner. No one is holding these students hostage! All these two students seemed to care about was the bragging rights of being able to graduate here and going to see disturbing grotesque slasher films. I just became aware of his article and I have notified the organization about it as it seems spiteful and greatly exaggerated. And, no, we are not friends with his hosts and I am not defending them. I will say that my student was very spoiled and difficult to get along with and retaliated continuously in various ways when she didn’t get her way but often by disparaging me (her host mother) to everyone she met. We almost sent her home for a more serious personal infraction. (There were many small ones). We went to great lengths taking in and keeping our student for 10 MONTHS using our time, resources and money caring for, entertaining, cooking, and putting up with her arrogant attitude…all for not. I actually wanted her out after only 3 weeks, so one can only imagine. My main hope is that these students become more self-aware and honest on their profiles as to their habits for everyone’s sake. In other words, don’t state they are fine with going into any family regardless of their religeon. We made it a personal challenge to ourselves in trying to keep our student the entire course. We succeeded and she got what she wanted and despite all the things she did and said about us, we know she had fun because of us, not despite us. Long story short we got nothing out of it but pain and will not be opening up our home to hosting freeloading unappreciative strangers again.
By Ann on Dec 13, 2006
Thanks for the comment Ann… It is always good to hear from other perspectives, especially those originally involved.
Thanks again.
By Matt on Dec 13, 2006
Dear Ann, dear Matt.
Thank you Ann, for the describing it from your situation. There are so many thoughts which have never been spoken out and there is a lot of misscommunication going on between the exchange students and their host.
Ann> No one is holding these students hostage!
This is true, but from the other side, nobody was pushing your to keep your “spoiled” “arrogant” student, for longer than the three weeks which you wished to keep her.
New in a new country:
And from he other side, please just try to imagine the situation from the exchange students: there are alone, in a huge “new” country, there have noobody to talk to, and have to fight against to cultural differences and how hard it was for me the describe my reasons: “for moving” to people whos livestyle is since 34-35 years, diffrent from mine.
Ann>I did not judge them on this, but we all knew he should Ann>have departed much sooner.
So, I told you that I am misarable, so maybe because we were “supported” by the same organisation, you could take action and talk to me, and try to solve the situation, because how bad, a situation has to get, that somebody will take action on?
Ann:> BTW, his career ambition is to go into journalism. He Ann; > babbled non-stop at our home one night until we all Ann;> were nodding off.
Yes, I love to write and read, sure that I am giving my best, to be good in whatever I am beliving in (it is a diffrent story, by the quastion If I am good in journalism or not :-), and I really whould like, to underline that “your exchange stundent” and me had a very similar experience. We never thought that the usuall diffrent “polish and german” nations, could develope this simillar emotions and feelings. We feelt somehow, “together” in a new world, and It gave as “strengh”. So in my eyes, it was still very “human” that we wanted to exchange our experiences. And BTW, how often have we met. 100 times? 50 times? No, ONCE during 10 months. ONCE.
Ann>will say that my student was very spoiled and difficult to Ann>get along with and retaliated continuously in various Ann>ways when she didn’t get her way but often by Ann>disparaging me (her host mother) to everyone she Ann>met.
(…)
Ann>Long story short we got nothing out of it but pain and Ann>will not be opening up our home to hosting freeloading Ann>unappreciative strangers again.
It is very sad in my opinion, that you never told “your exchange student” that she is spoiled and arrogant in the face and that you probably invited her to come and visit you how often she would like it, to do it. And that now, after I send her the link from this website (nothing against you Matt
she will read your opinion, and feel to be lied on.
Long story short,
of course that the exchange students are not perfect, and all of as is bringing some “ballast” with him are her, but in case that somebody with really be interested in our culture or us, you could talk to us, and we would share with you a lot and both of us could “exchange” please believe me what I am talking about, my next five months were perfect, and I descovered a great new “familly members” in the states and their discovered me.
Open for any kind of opinions.
The “bad” exchange student and “human”
Michael Alexader Gromek
The Name “exchange” explains the wish “to learn something new”, the exchange your culture with a other culture. Exchange, not push.
So you would have the possibility to learn something from the “Europeans” and the only
By Michael Alexander Gromek on Feb 5, 2007