The Future of Marriage: Expanding Equality

For the past two weeks I have spent my days and nights working with Soulforce Q’s Right to Marry Campaign in the State of New York. From July 14th through the 28th I joined 32 other young adult activists in traveling across New York. My particular route took me and seven others to the beautiful North Country. From Albany north to Saratoga Springs, Plattsburgh, Canton, Lake Placid and more, we took in the wondrous sights, sounds and smells of the Adirondack Mountains and the local, down-home flavor of each of the small towns we visited.

Photo right: The Northern Van in Plattsburgh, NY

To our surprise, we found that no matter where we traveled, the overwhelming majority of community members and leaders we spoke to supported offering full marriage equality to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people. Our meetings with state legislators, although not as productive as conversations with community members, also went very well.

Our first meeting with a New York lawmaker was, perhaps, our most important. At the beginning of the two week campaign, we met with Senate Majority Leader, Senator Joseph L. Bruno. A Republican who has been in office since the 1970s, Senator Bruno is a powerful member of the New York Senate and represents a very conservative district north of Albany, oftentimes called “Bruno Country.” As leader of the Senate, Senator Bruno has the power to place – or not to place – certain bills on the floor of the legislative body. It was his decision not to place the marriage equality bill on the Senate floor that prompted our meeting with him.

We were saddened that we were not able to meet with Senator Bruno himself, instead meeting with a staff person. The Senator’s staff member was polite and cordial, although we learned nothing in the meeting that we did not know prior to it.

So from our meeting with Senator Bruno’s staff, we moved north. From the Chief of Staff for Assemblyman Roy McDonald in Fort Edward, to the LGBT-accepting Republican Assemblywoman Teresa Sayward, our meetings varied in style and feeling.

Assemblyman McDonald’s Chief of Staff, Mark Luciano, was condescending and arrogant. He offered his “advice” in telling us that we should try “different tactics” other than talking to elected officials. He suggested we talk to community members and constituents, of which he thought many were “white trash.” He said that we should be patient and that the lack of progress was because of “the process.” He said civil unions were better. The meeting, needless to say really, was not a positive experience.

So, after having our plight of second class citizenship compared to water-sewer problems in Saratoga County, we moved to Assemblywoman Teresa Sayward. The mother of an openly gay son, Assemblywoman Sayward joyfully agreed to meet with us. The only Republican co-sponsor of New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s marriage equality bill, the Assemblywoman spoke to us very frankly, stating that once you come to the point where you know being gay is not a choice, then this issue becomes not a religious or moral one, but rather one solely about civil rights.

Photo left: The Northern Van with Assemblywoman Teresa Sayward

We also met with Assemblywoman Janet Duprey. The Assemblywoman had originally voted no on the marriage equality bill, but in our meeting with her she stated that since that time she had met with many people, read more on the subject and was beginning to see things in a different light. We firmly believe and hope that the Assemblywoman, if the vote ever comes up again, will vote in our favor.

Photo right: The Northern Van with Assemblywoman Janet Duprey

Our saddest “meeting” was with Senator Griffo in Utica. I put the quotation marks around the word “meeting” because we really never got the chance to meet with him. For weeks, if not months, we worked hard to secure a meeting with either the Senator or his staff. Time and time again, we were shrugged off. When we showed up to his office anyway, we were shrugged off once again. What kind of elected official ignores American citizens who wish to only speak with him?

Overall, I had a wonderful time on the Right to Marry Campaign. Unlike the Equality Ride, this particular Soulforce Q action was more politically based, something I absolutely love and something that was definitely right up my alley. The meetings with state legislators and their staffs was definitely a high point, but more importantly the meetings and conversations we had with community members and New York citizens was definitely enjoyable and productive as well. The overwhelming majority of those we met supported us fully.

New York is next. New York will be a place where LGBT citizens are full citizens and where second class citizenship is a thing of the past. Maybe not this year, perhaps not next year… but it is coming and it is coming soon!

A Couple’s Story
The following is from Greensboro, NC couple Cris Elkins and Gene Hannold. They sent the following letter and shoes to the office of New York Senate Majority Leader, Senator Joseph L. Bruno, as a part of the “Walk a Mile in My Shoes” Campaign (link).

July 27, 2007

Senator Joseph L. Bruno
Legislative Office Building, Rm. 909
Albany, NY 12247

Dear Senator Bruno:

We are a same-gender couple who have been in a committed, loving relationship for 33 years. We are not getting any younger and could use the security, protections, rights, and responsibilities that a marriage license affords. Marriage equality for gay and lesbian Americans is all about civil rights and having our nation live up to its highest ideal of liberty and equality under the law. There is no greater personal freedom than the right to marry the person one loves. To love, honor, and cherish is the noblest promise two people can make. Barring gays from marriage is inhumane and unfair. Allowing and expecting marriage would show respect for the welfare and equality of all Americans.

Two years ago we sold our home of 26 years in Virginia and moved to North Carolina. A plethora of anti-gay legislation, including a marriage amendment, made it clear that gays were no longer welcome or safe in Virginia. Since we are both retired we did not have to stay and support our own oppression. We are currently living in mother’s home in NC and taking care of her. We have found NC much more accepting, affirming, and supportive of gays and lesbians than Virginia. NC is the only southern state without a marriage amendment. Perhaps that is because the state legislature is controlled by Democrats and the governor is also a Democrat.

When mother dies we will be looking to relocate to a state that provides us the right to marry. It is my hope that New York will be one of those states. We have a great fondness for NYC and made numerous trips there while living in northern Virginia. Please do the right thing and allow marriage equality in NY. You will be proud that people around the world can look to NY as a beacon in the struggle for human dignity.

Sincerely,

Cris F. Elkins
Gene E. Hannold

Posted in Right to Marry Campaign |