This is the first installment of the five-week commentary series, “Fessing Up: exploring the dirty little secrets of the gay community.” The purpose of the series, announced last week, will be to open community discussion with frank and honest thoughts and debate. Ignoring problems that exist inside our community and among some of our LGBT siblings is dangerous. In order to make our community better, stronger and more equal, we have to begin taking responsibility and speaking out when our own community, personal and social health is threatened.

Although the series will deal specifically with gay and bisexual men, as well as men who have sex with men (MSM), it will contain possible truths and discussion for the whole LGBT community.

We know that issues like substance abuse, promiscuity, unsafe sex, HIV/AIDS and STD infection rates and unattainable ideals of male beauty have an impact on the sexual, social, legal, physical and psychological health of the LGBT community, but we have utterly failed at having open and frank conversation about how we can address these issues, support our LGBT brothers and sisters and make our entire community more healthy and more equal.

In bars and clubs, online hook-up sites and gayborhoods across America, there’s a hidden – and sometimes not so hidden – social epidemic running through the gay community. Meth and alcohol are our poisons of choice, and they are harming and killing members of our community at an alarming rate.

If there is one thing the gay community doesn’t do well it is introspection. We all know there’s a serious drug and alcohol abuse problem but many of us either aren’t aware or just don’t talk about it. I’d venture to say that substance abuse is among three topics the gay community finds anathema; the others being promiscuity and unsafe sex.

Through college and my blogging and writing careers, there isn’t a single credible study or survey I’ve run across that doesn’t tell the gay community one plain and simple fact: Drug and alcohol use in our community is astronomically high when compared to our heterosexual peers. The issue is complex, with no easy answers and innumerable difficult questions. There’s no doubt that oppression, discrimination and constant harassment from the religious right make these issues even more complex; especially considering that many LGBT people turn to substance-abuse because of the unbearable burdens society places on them.

But the studies and surveys, as well as our own life and community experiences, should be tell us something about our community. They should inspire us to change ourselves for the better, to hold our LGBT brothers and sisters accountable, to keep each other safe and to create a community healthy enough to enjoy living with the equality we are achieving. Our history shows we are a proud people, that we can achieve great heights – we can put that spirit of achievement to use in ways that make us healthier, happier and more equal.

Substance abuse is unarguably linked to increased risks of death and disease. When we are under the influence of a drug or alcohol, we do stupid things. Whether it be driving or having unsafe sex, substance abuse diminishes our wisdom and responsibility, killing our inhibitions and consciences.

I’m certainly not in the position to judge; nowhere near it, in fact. Although I’ve only experimented with one drug (marijuana) while in high school, I can admit to having my own unfortunate run-ins with alcohol. So, it is from personal experience when I speak of the things our community should and must do to combat drug and alcohol abuse.

There are simple and novel community and business decisions LGBT community members, leaders and business owners can make that can help prevent drug and alcohol abuse. Some communities and businesses have already started some of these initiatives and made smart, responsible decisions. For others, it’s never too late to start.

—

Ten Ways to Support, Promote and Encourage a Healthy, Substance-Free LGBT Community

1.       Accountability and Support – hold your friends accountable to their life goals and dreams, help them if you notice a substance abuse problem and be there as a mentor, confidant or just a sounding wall.

2.       Truth and Effective Countering – LGBT advocacy organizations should spend more time calling out the far-right organizations who take our community’s ill’s and twist them for their own purposes.

3.       Clean Businesses – LGBT business owners, especially nightlife establishments, should crack down on the use of illegal substances inside their clubs and refuse entry to those patrons who seem drunk upon arrival or under the influence of some other substance. Bar owners should keep their bartenders accountable; if caught serving to a person who is visibly too drunk for his or her own good, the bartender should be disciplined.

4.       Smart Business – Nightlife establishments should provide the opportunity for cab rides and other alternative transportation means for those patrons too drunk to drive. I bet we’d be surprised at just how much positive feedback and extra boosts in business that owners might get if they had cabs always waiting for patrons right outside the door. A novel and unique business idea: Bar and club owners could pay the first $5 of any patron’s cab ride.

5.       Supporting Healing – Non-profit community organizations like community centers should openly support, promote and operate (or, start, if none already exist) healing support services such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narc Anon.

6.       Responsible Media – Like all media, LGBT media should routinely offer, create or obtain free and voluntary public service announcements in the form of advertising in print and online publications. PSAs could focus on prevention or support services.

7.       Political Advocacy - Local political action committees (PACs) and other advocacy groups regularly lobby, question, rank and endorse candidates for local and state offices. Local PACs and advocacy groups should add questions about substance-abuse prevention to the questionnaires they use to endorse and rank candidates. Promoting candidates who will in turn promote healthy lifestyle options in law and policy could effectively encourage and promote substance-free living both inside and outside the LGBT community.

8.       Youth Education - There is a local LGBT youth support organization in North Carolina that hosts weekly youth support and social meetings. Throughout the year, the group repeats at least two times a series of discussion topics focusing on healthy living. Among the various topics are domestic violence and healthy relationships, safe sex and STD and HIV/AIDS prevention. LGBT youth groups operating regular discussion and support groups should discuss substance abuse on just as regular a basis.

9.       Disassociate Community Involvement and Alcohol - It is amazing, really, to realize just how many LGBT non-profits and community groups host regular social events and fundraisers inside LGBT nightlife establishments or other businesses where alcohol is readily available and freely flowing. Community organizations should host more events in businesses and venues where alcohol isn’t the main course. Why not host events at a coffee shop or book store?

10.   Stopping abuse of legal drugs and substances – LGBT business owners and community groups should strive to raise awareness on the use of legal substances often used to achieve highs. Video head clear, a.k.a. “poppers,” should come off the shelves of gay bookstores, sex shops and novelty stores. As in point one, friends should encourage their friends to stop abusing prescription drugs or other legal substances.

—

For decades the LGBT world almost entirely revolved around a bar and nightclub scene. It isn’t surprising then that alcohol- and substance-abuse became such a phenomenon. That time is waning. As more young people come out and are introduced to the world as LGBT people in everyday, non-bar settings, I hope we’ll see substance-abuse decline. But that will take work, support and accountability.

Our community is no good if we are unhealthy or dead. We can take steps to curb substance-abuse, if we want to. Now is the time to “Fess Up,” to talk and to take action.

Next Thursday: Promiscuity and Unsafe Sex in the Gay Community. Click here or bookmark this link to keep up with other “Fessing Up” commentaries.