Bigot neighbor feels hurt

by Matt | February 20th, 2006 |

I about just laughed myself out of my chair when I read this Ask Amy column. The woman seeking advice feels hurt and offended that her gay neighbors are ingoringher. Well, Mrs. Bigot… maybe if you wouldn’t have called them “unnatural and disturbing” they wouldn’t be ignoring you. Maybe, just maybe… they should be the ones hurt, not you.

Gay neighbors deserve apologyÂ

February 20, 2005

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have lived in our quiet suburban Denver neighborhood for six years. About two years ago, two young gay men moved in across the street. They’ve taken the ugliest, most rundown property in the neighborhood and remodeled and transformed it into the pride of the street. When it snows, they shovel out my car and are friendly, yet they mostly keep to themselves. Last month I went out to retrieve my newspaper and watched them kiss each other goodbye and embrace as they each left for work. I was appalled that they would do something like that in plain view of everyone. I was so disturbed that I spoke to my pastor. He encouraged me to draft a letter, telling them how much we appreciate their help but asking them to refrain from that behavior in our neighborhood. I did so and asked a few of our neighbors to sign it. Since I delivered it, I’ve not been able to get them to even engage me in conversation. I offer greetings but they’ve chosen to ignore me. They have made it so uncomfortable for the other neighbors and me by not even acknowledging our presence. How would you suggest we open communications with them and explain to them that we value their contributions to the neighborhood but will not tolerate watching unnatural and disturbing behavior.

Wondering

DEAR WONDERING: You’re lucky that these gentlemen merely choose to ignore you.

Your neighbors could respond to your hospitality by hosting weekly outdoor “gay pride” barbecues and inviting all of their friends to enjoy life on your quiet suburban street. I can hold out hope that they will choose to do this, but I’m spiteful in that way. Your neighbors sound much more kind.

In your original petition to these men, you basically stated that while you value them when they are raising the standard on your street and shoveling your driveway, you loathe them for being who they are.

The only way to open communication with your neighbors would be to start by apologizing to them for engaging your other neighbors in your campaign. Because you don’t sound likely to apologize, you are just going to have to tolerate being ignored.

Let me just say that I love the way Amy answered this question. If only she would have been able to come out and say it as directly as I am… the gay neighbors have bigot neighbors and the bigot neighbors deserve to feel hurt because they are the ones in the wrong. This gay couple has paid for their house just like the other neighbors did and if they want to kiss each other goodbye before work, then they have every right to do so.

People’s stupidity sometimes amazes me.

MattAbout the Author: Matt
Matt, 22, is an LGBT journalist, activist and youth advocate currently living and working in Charlotte, N.C., where he serves as the Editor of Q-Notes, the Carolinas' LGBT news source. A native of Winston-Salem, N.C., Matt attended the University of North Carolina at Greensboro and is still continuing to pursue his bachelors degree. He is the Owner & Editor of InterstateQ.com and has been active in LGBT advocacy work since the age of 14.

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