Category Archives: Ex-gay

Feb 18 1 comments
Anti-LGBT, Ex-gay, LGBT

Truth Wins Out joins N.C. gay groups to challenge infamous ‘Ex-Gay’ Road Show

Take a gander at the press release below, then head over to www.truthwinsout.org and, for more details on events visit www.rainbowaction.org/events/.

TWO Joins Coalition of North Carolina Organizations to Counter Infamous ‘Ex-Gay’ Road Show
New Landmark Publication, ‘Ex-Gay & The Law’, To Be Unveiled At Friday Press Conference

Truth Wins Out (TWO) announced today that it has joined a coalition of North Carolina Charlotte at Nightgay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender advocates responding to Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conference, which encourages people to “pray away the gay.” Led by the Charlotte Rainbow Action Network for Equality (CRANE), there will be a week of educational events in Charlotte designed to get correct information to the public about the danger of ex-gay programs. The coalition will also offer honest and accurate depictions of the lives of GLBT people, to counteract the distorted view offered by Focus on the Family.

“The research is very clear that you can’t pray away the gay and attempts to do so can be harmful,” said Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out. “Focus on the Family is offering false hope to vulnerable people and profiting from their pain. They are intentionally confusing stereotypes with legitimate science in an attempt to mislead people about homosexuality. We hope to offer a realistic view of our lives and use sound science to set the record straight.”

The week’s events include a lecture by Besen (Pictured Right) on Thursday, Feb. 19, at theWayne TuxLesbian & Gay Community Center (7:00-8:30 PM). On Friday, Feb. 20, there will be a press conference at the Unitarian-Universalist Church of Charlotte (11:30 AM). On Saturday, Feb. 21, there will be a non-violent protest against Love Won Out (11:00 AM-2:00 PM) in front of Central Church of God (5301 Sardis Road).

At the Friday press conference, Truth Wins Out and Lambda Legal will release a landmark publication, “Ex-Gay & The Law”, that aims to educate victims of “ex-gay” programs of their legal options. The many people who have had their lives damaged by ex-gay programs inspired this work.

“Ex-gay programs teach that homosexuality is demonic and ‘treat’ children as young as three years old,” said Besen. “What they do is dangerous, scientifically unsound and rejected by every respected medical and mental health association in America.”

CRANE is a grassroots coalition of activists and community members working toward civil and social equality for Charlotte’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex (LGBTQI) community. Truth Wins Out is a non-profit organization that defends gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people from anti-gay lies. TWO also counters the “ex-gay” myth and educates America about gay life.

Jan 13 3 comments
Anti-LGBT, Ex-gay, LGBT, Religion

Randy Thomas and ex-gay disingenuousness

In response to a recent Dan Savage column, ex-gay Randy Thomas, an official with Exodus International, wrote (h/t Ex-Gay Watch):

For the most part, we are intelligent, balanced, stable, tolerant of what we may not personally accept and loving. We looked at what identifying as gay and all of the predetermined relational options of what that means and said, “no thanks.” Some of us have experienced orientation shift and others haven’t … and we are all living out our faith and life as we see fit. I and everyone I know, have no desire to force others into our line of thinking.

Except that last line is a lie. Time and time again, ex-gay ministries or their supporters have forced gay teenagers at ages 16 or 17 into residential treatment centers.

Zach Stark

Zach Stark

Back in Summer 2005, teenager Zach Stark was forced into an Exodus International-affiliated treatment center. The late Jerry Falwell, an Exodus supporter, “dismissed psychologists’ claims that consent is fundamental to a healthy counseling relationship and that parents should not force their gay kids into therapy.”

And we can’t forget about Lance Carroll, who was forced to attend the same residential treatment center as Stark. He says the “therapy” included isolation and group shaming sessions where one participant would be singled out and shamed for the personal occurrences in their life.

There’s also this gem, the story of Jeff Williamson, a young man whose parents made an appointment for him to go to an ex-gay therapist referred by Focus on the Family, an Exodus supporter. He says he wasn’t “exactly forced,” but felt “an intense pressure” from his parents. What else is a teenager supposed to do?

It’s situations like Williamson’s that might just be the most dangerous. Teenagers and other young people who feel so pressured to go into these therapies that they keep all of their emotion, grief or anger bottled up inside. For LGBT youth, who are already more susceptible to suicide, these factors are all a dangerous combination.

Oct 14 3 comments
Anti-LGBT, Ex-gay, Politics, United States

PFOX and a meritless suit

Updated 6:00 p.m. EST, 10/14/2008

The first thing I thought… “They’re kidding right?”

Evidently, twisting the Grace and Love of God in order to inflict pain and shame on gay and lesbian youth isn’t the only think ex-gay advocates like Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (PFOX) is good at. It seems they’ve also got a knack for twisting the law.

In a press release titled, “Human Rights Office Sued for Refusing to Protect Former Homosexuals,” PFOX claims that the Washington, D.C. Office of Human Rights fails “to protect former homosexuals under its sexual orientation anti-discrimination law.”

Said PFOX Executive Director Regina Griggs, “The ex-gay community is the most bullied and maligned group in America, yet they are not protected by sexual orientation non-discrimination laws.”

Far be it from to know just how a group of “former homosexuals,” whom the majority of the powerful religious right fully embrace and support, can be called “the most bullied and maligned group in America.”

Get the whole story »

Jul 14 2 comments
Anti-LGBT, Ex-gay, LGBT, Politics, Religion, United States

Anti-gay bi man gives it up

David Benkof/David Bianco, who recently made waves with a string of anti-gay op-eds in gay and mainstream news publications, has decided to give up his alliance with anti-gay, radical right activists.

“I no longer feel comfortable being allied with the people running the Prop. 8 campaign, and the same-sex marriage movement in America in general, with a few exceptions – most notably Maggie Gallagher,” the former Q-Syndicate founder/owner told Wayne Besen’s Truth Wins Out. “I have made a tentative decision not to publicize the disturbing information that caused me to end my promotion of man-woman marriage in the United States. But there is very little that I know about those subjects that a journalist, blogger, or activist cannot find out through diligent googling and asking the right questions of the Prop. 8 campaign.”

Benkof echoed similar thoughts on his blog:

It is with great sadness that I announce that I feel I must withdraw from openly supporting man-woman marriage in the United States. I recently learned quite a bit of disturbing information that makes it impossible for me to continue supporting a movement I no longer respect. I have not yet decided when or even if I will write about why I’m ending my participation in this debate.

The Carolinas’ QNotes, where I am employed, ran into a bit of a skirmish with Benkof in May. Box Turtle Bulletin reported on that situation.

Apr 15 1 comments
Anti-LGBT, Ex-gay, LGBT, Politics, United States

Benedict Arnold, to the extreme

Just received in the inbox, from our good friends at the Liberty Council (my notes in italics):

Lisa Miller is the fit, biological mother of a daughter, with whom Janet Jenkins [Miller's former partner] has neither a biological nor an adoptive relationship. In 2000, while living in Virginia, Lisa and Janet entered into a Vermont civil union. Lisa gave birth to her child in Virginia through artificial insemination from an anonymous donor and her daughter was born in Virginia, but the relationship ended when [allegedly] Janet became abusive and Lisa became a Christian [she became "ex-gay" just to keep her child]. Janet wants to have custody of Lisa’s daughter while continuing in her own lesbian lifestyle.

Does anybody else find it even just a bit disconcerting that this Virginian lesbian has not only used anti-gay laws against her own community, but that she now defends herself with anti-gay organizations which first helped to create these anti-gay laws?

Do I sense a Benedict Arnold any where? Lisa Miller’s actions are sickening. I’m sure the folks at Liberty Council are just sitting back and taking it all in. It isn’t enough they have to cause damage to the community, now they get to cause damage within it.

Feb 06 2 comments
Anti-LGBT, Ex-gay, LGBT, Politics, Religion, Sexuality, United States

This and that

I don’t have much time this morning, so here is a quick run-down:

“The Fighting Words of Michael Brown” — David Rattigan over at Ex-Gay Watch profiles Dr. Michael Brown. The esteemed doc responds throughout the 250-post long comment thread. David says: “Brown’s disclaimer is that [his movement] is “a non-violent revolution based on purity, compassion, and sacrifice rather than one based on anger, intimidation, rebellion, and force,” but these are hardly comforting words to the targets of Brown’s crusade. Even when such language is clearly not meant in a physical sense, how is one supposed to receive it – especially when used to deny others their rights – if not as angry, intimidating, rebellious and forceful? Read the rest.

No ‘gay’ in Tennessee – If successful, a new bill introduced in the Tennessee legislature would “prevent public elementary and middle schools from allowing ‘any instruction or materials discussing sexual orientation other than heterosexuality.’” The bill was submitted by Representative Stacey Campfield of Knoxville. This, of course, follows the spread of anti-gay adoption frenzy to the Volunteer State last week.

The N.C. State “Gilberts” – Conservative columnist and UNC-Wilmington criminology professor Mike Adams writes on N.C. State University’s new LGBT Student Center, which opened last week. Also, an article on the opening from the campus paper, The Technician; and… a more recent article from the same.

The Grey Zone – Hilarious video

Feb 05 0 comments
Ex-gay, LGBT

More on Beyond-Ex Gay

Beyond Ex-Gay is a remarkable movement that has sprung up recently and if you the oppurtunity to attend the weekend which Matt blogged about, I would highly recommend it. I was able to observe the 2007 Ex-Gay Survivor Conference and if that was any indication of what Memphis has in store, you won’t want to miss it. I may or may not be researching cheap tickets myself.

Here’s another look at what Beyond Ex-Gay has going on:

Feb 05 1 comments
Anti-LGBT, Ex-gay, LGBT, Religion, Sexuality, United States

BeyondExGay.com organizes around Memphis ‘Love Won Out’ conference

BeyondExGay.com (see the ad in the sidebar) has organized around the Feb. 23 Memphis Love Won Out Conference being thrown by the anti-gay, ex-gay Focus on the Family and Exodus International.

Video:

Nov 29 0 comments
Ex-gay, LGBT, Religion, Soulforce/Equality Ride

Uncovering the Truth, Undoing the Damage

Matt and I met during the Soulforce Equality Ride this past spring and have been involved in other Soulforce actions and events. In June, Soulforce teamed up with Beyond Ex-Gay and the LGBT Resource Center of UC-Irvine to host the first ever Ex-Gay Survivor Conference.

As you may be aware, ex-gay ministries such as Exodus International promote the message that being gay or transgender is sick and sinful and that you can and should work to change yourself. Unfortunately, change is ill-defined. Contrary to what one might expect, “change” does not mean “gay to straight” but rather “gay identified to non-gay identified and celibate” or “gay to married to a woman but still attracted to men.” Even Exodus International’s president Alan Chambers acknowledges that he still “struggles” with “temptations.” Change isn’t as pretty as you might be led to believe.

Peterson Tuscano and Christine Bakke–founders of Beyond Ex-Gay–have been very vocal in talking about their experience, the good along with the bad, and being accessible to others who have had similar experiences. Recently, Peterson created a space on his blog where readers could chronicle the ways in which they were harmed by ex-gay experiences. Equality Rider Vince Cervantes has been recounting his own experiences and YouTuber Daniel Gonzalez has a collection of personal stories from many former ex-gay participants.

While at the conference, I was able to document the day’s events and sit down with a handful of the conference participants to capture their own stories. It was a moving day. I’ve put together a short preview of the 15-minute film:

The full-length video is featured on Soulforce’s resource page for ex-gay ministries (or available directly here).

I am hopeful that anti-gay Christian leaders will begin to listen to these accounts. We know they mean well, but unfortunately the results can be disastrous. If you’ve gone through ex-gay programs, or even tried to change your orientation or identity on your own, I’d encourage to start speaking out and sharing your stories, I know Christine et al would love to hear from you!

Nov 07 3 comments
Anti-LGBT, Ex-gay, LGBT, Politics, Religion

Disappointed.

It gets me every time. Every time I read an article from a Christian organization or hear a quotation from a Christian that simply does not present the full story, I’m disappointed. Disappointed because I hold my Christian faith in such high esteem, my respective for God, my love for others, my commitment to the Truth, whatever that may be. I am at once surprised and saddened.

The Point, a blog which I read daily–sometimes in agreement, sometimes with disagreement–recently linked to a CitizenLink article about a new survey released by the Barna Group. Blogger Anne Morse quotes the CitizenLink article, “While six in 10 young Americans said the homosexual lifestyle is a problem facing America, just 1 percent said they pray for those who identify as homosexual.”

I was unable to find these statistics in the original language of the results and haven’t seen them anywhere so I can only hope the CitizenLink isn’t grossly misconstruing the findings. But I can offer some other findings: “91% of young non-Christians and 80% of young churchgoers” describe present-day Christianity as “anti-homosexual” and that “Christians show excessive contempt and unloving attitudes towards gays and lesbians.” The Ventura County Star also notes that “a 2001 Kaiser Family Foundation poll found that 60 percent of Americans ages 17 to 29 support same-sex marriage.”

It seems to me that there is more to “the story” than simply Christians need to pray for gay people. The problems is not that Christians aren’t praying enough… a more pressing issue is that the majority of young people are opposed to the churches anti-gay teaching. It’s not that Christians aren’t doing enough, it’s that what they are doing is completely misguided.

I wish that CitizenLink would tackle the meat of these concerns instead of just urging Christians to pray and love. Both of those things are certainly important, but certainly not enough.

Another sigh.

Randy Thomas also links to a CitizenLink article about a recent Love Won Conference. The article is a collection of casual thoughts relating to a conversation the author had with a protester outside of the conference (a mother holding a sign saying “I love my lesbian daughter). He [the author of the article] breaks apart their conversation:

Her daughter’s relationship doesn’t hurt anyone: Well, research makes it clear that being involved in a lesbian relationship increases the risk for smoking, substance abuse, depression and suicide. So it may very well wind up hurting her daughter, and frankly, that pain would impact mom as well.

Does research show that being in a lesbian relationship causes those things or is there a correlation? That’s a big distinction. And if it’s just a correlation, what is the cause? That should be an even bigger question for Christians.

And make no mistake, the ultimate goal of gay activism is to force churches — including Trader’s Point Christian Church — to either preach a gay Gospel or else remain totally silent on the issue. Failure to do so would lead to severe penalties, up to and including jail time for preachers.

Without citing a single source the author (and managing editor) presumes to speak for all gay activists. Well this Equality Rider does not want to force any church to do anything. And I certainly don’t want to lock up preachers! I think that anti-gay doctrine and rhetoric is counter to the message of Christ and counter to God’s will but I think that the fruits of that theology speak for themselves. Christians and non-Christians alike will see–are seeing this–and turning away all on their own.

He concludes with “She was there because she unconditionally loves her daughter. At its heart, that’s something to honor, although we certainly disagree on how best to express that. There is a time for debate. A time to speak our position clearly. A time to say, “This far and no further.” But I am convinced there also is a time to intently and simply listen. So we know who these folks are on the side of the road. So we know what they’re thinking. So we know what brought them to that moment” and for that I am grateful. Grateful for a moment but saddened to remember that before the conversation even started he decided he would never change his mind.

For all the talking about, I’m disappointed to read so many assumptions and see so little searching.

So much for 1 Thessalonian 5:21